oil

Important for you to knowwhich major companies importMiddle Eastern oil : Shell............................. 205,742,000 barrels
Chevron/Texaco......... 144,332,000 barrels
Exxon /Mobil............... 130,082,000 barrels
Marathon/Speedway... 117,740,000 barrels
Amoco............................62,231,000 barrels

If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount to over $18 BILLION! Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:
Citgo.......................0 barrels
Sunoco...................0 barrels
Conoco...................0 barrels
Sinclair....................0 barrels
BP/Phillips..............0 barrels
Hess........................0 barrels
ARC0 ......................0 barrels

All of this information is available from the Department of Energy and each is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. It's really simple to do. Now, don't wimp out at this point... keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!! If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) ... and so on,! by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people

TRAITOR IS ABOUT TO BE HONORED:IF YOU NEVER FORWARDED ANYTHING IN YOU LIFE FORWARD THIS SO THAT EVERYONE

She really was a traitorA TRAITOR IS ABOUT TO BE HONOREDKEEP THIS MOVING ACROSS AMERICA

This is for all the kids born in the 70's who donot remember, and didn't have to bear theburden that our fathers, mothers and olderbrothers and sisters had to bear.Jane Fonda is being honored as one of the"100 Women of the Century."BY BARBRA WALTERSUnfortunately, many have forgotten and stillcountless others have never known how Ms.Fonda betrayed not only the idea of our country,but specific men who served and sacrificedduring Vietnam.The first part of this is from an F-4E pilot

The pilot's name is Jerry Driscoll, a River Rat.

In 1968, the former Commandant of the USAFSurvival School was a POW in Ho Lo Prisonthe "Hanoi Hilton."

Dragged from a stinking cesspit of a cell,cleaned, fed, and dressed in clean PJ's, he wasordered to describe for a visiting American"Peace Activist" the "lenient and humanetreatment" he'd received.He spat at Ms. Fonda, was clubbed, and wasdragged away.During the subsequent beating, he fell forwardon to the camp Commandant's feet, whichsent that officer berserk.In 1978, the Air Force Colonel still suffered fromdouble vision (which permanently ended hisflying career) from the Commandant's frenziedapplication of a wooden baton.From 1963-65, Col. Larry Carrigan was in the47FW/DO (F-4E's). He spent 6 years in the"Hanoi Hilton",,, the first three of which hisfamily only knew he was "missing in action".His wife lived on faith that he was still alive.His group, too, got the cleaned-up, fed andclothed routine in preparation for a"peace delegation" visit.They, however, had time and devised a plan toget word to the world that they were aliveand still survived. Each man secreted a tinypiece of paper, with his Social Security Numberon it, in the palm of his hand.When paraded before Ms. Fonda and acameraman, she walked the line, shaking eachman's hand and asking little encouragingsnippets like: "Aren't you sorry you bombedbabies?" and "Are you grateful for the humanetreatment from your benevolent captors?"Believing this HAD to be an act, they eachpalmed her their sliver of paper.She took them all without missing a beat. At theend of the line and once the camera stoppedrolling, to the shocked disbelief of the POWs,she turned to the officer in charge and handedhim all the little pieces of paper.Three men died from the subsequent beatings.Colonel Carrigan was almost number fourbut he survived, which is the only reason weknow of her actions that day.I was a civilian economic development advisorin Vietnam, and was captured by the NorthVietnamese communists in South Vietnam in1968, and held prisoner for over 5 years.
I spent 27 months in solitary confinement; oneyear in a cage in Cambodia; and one yearin a "black box" in Hanoi.My North Vietnamese captors deliberatelypoisoned and murdered a female missionary, anurse in a leprosarium in Ban me Thuot, SouthVietnam, whom I buried in the jungle near theCambodian border.At one time, I weighed only about 90 lbs.(My normal weight is 170 lbs.)
We were Jane Fonda's "war criminals."
When Jane Fonda was in Hanoi, I was asked bythe camp communist political officer if I wouldbe willing to meet with her.
I said yes, for I wanted to tell her about the realtreatment we POWs received... and howdifferent it was from the treatment purported bythe North Vietnamese, and parroted by her as"humane and lenient."
Because of this, I spent three days on a rockyfloor on my knees, with my arms outstretchedwith a large steel weights placed on my hands,and beaten with a bamboo cane.I had the opportunity to meet with Jane Fondasoon after I was released. I asked her if she would be willing to debate me on TV.She never did answer me.

These first-hand experiences do not exemplifysomeone who should be honored as partof "100 Years of Great Women."Lest we forget..." 100 Years of Great Women"should never include a traitor whose hands arecovered with the blood of so many patriots.
There are few things I have strong visceralreactions to, but Hanoi Jane's participation inblatant treason, is one of them.Please take the time to forward to as manypeople as you possibly can.It will eventually end up on her computer andshe needs to know that we will never forget.RONALD D. SAMPSON, CMSgt, USAF716 Maintenance Squadron, Chief ofMaintenanceDSN: 875-6431COMM: 883-6343

the miracle todler diet

People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat of their diets, or quit after 3 days.

Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !!!

DAY ONE Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes. Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest). Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi. Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye. Lunch: Eat a half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired. Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug. Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.

DAY THREE Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair. Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up. Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.

FINAL DAY Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog. Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it. Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

actual lines from resume's

I am very detail-oreinted.
My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.
Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty! Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.
It's best for employers that I not work with people.
Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated. If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.
My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job." And I like your company in particular.
You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate!
I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt.
Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some.
If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.
Please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date.
Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.
Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia.
I prefer to elaborate privately.
Previous experience: Self-employed--a fiasco.
Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.
My experience in horticulture is well-rooted.
Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.
I am a rabid typist.
Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984.
I have a bachelorette degree in computers.
Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.
Graduated in the top 66% of my class.
Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.
Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.
Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes.
I worked as a Corporate Lesion.
Special Skills: Speak English.
Served as assistant sore manager.
Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.
Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.
Education: B.A. in Loberal Arts. Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis

to my daughter

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given. I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day.............

a fathers lesson

A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.

His father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered, he asks, "Can I speak to Alf, please?" "No! There's no one called Alf here," says the person who answered the phone. His father hangs up. "That's irritation," he says.

He picks up the phone again, dials the same number, and asks for Alf a second time. "No-there's no one here called Alf. Go away. If you call again I shall telephone the police," the person says. His father hangs up and says, "That's aggravation."

"Then what's frustration?" asks his son. The father picks up the phone and dials the same number a third time. "Hello, this is Alf. Have I received any phone calls?" he asks casually.

live in maid

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. They hired a lovely lass for the job. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. "But why?" asked the disappointed wife. She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant." The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay." She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well. After several months though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that she was pregnant again, talked to her husband, and offered to adopt the baby if she would stay. She agreed, had the baby, they adopted it, and life went on as usual. In a few months, however, she again said she would have to leave. Same thing. She was pregnant. They made the same offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third baby. She worked for a week or two, but then said, "I am definitely leaving this time." "Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the lady of the house. "No," she said, "there are just too many kids here to pick up after."

top ten reasons dogs are better than cats

1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.

2. Cats look silly on a leash.

3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.

4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

5. A dog knows when you're sad. And he'll try to comfort you. Cats don't care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.

6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.

7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won't go at all.

8. Dogs will come when you call them. And they'll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.

9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they're in pain.

10. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.

dog quotes

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." -- Gene Hill

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." -- Dave Barry

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." -- Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings

red bank tape

My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank.
The operator asked me what Ian's last name was and I explained that he hadn't left his surname.

When she asked for his department, I said I didn't know.
"There are 1500 employees in this building, ma'am," she advised me rather curtly.

After a few more brusque comments, I asked her for her name. "Danielle," she said. "And your last name?" I asked. "Sorry," she replied, "we don't give out last names."

fathers back then... fathers today

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived. Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.
Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school."
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up, it's time for hockey practice.

" In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at gymnastics, I'm at gym, Pizza in fridge.

" In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..

" In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles. Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted a Game Cube!"

for college students

Start Worrying When...

You consider McDonalds 'real food'.

4.00AM is still early on weekends.

You'd rather clean than study.

Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

Re-arranging your room is your favorite pastime.

You schedule classes around sleep and TV soaps.

There is less then $4.50 in your bank account at any given time.

The Visa cards are full and the overdraft is up to its limit.

Computer solitaire is more than a game, its a way of life.

You get excited when you find change that someone carelessly left in the drinks machine.

The Hand of G-d that brought the flood

Thursday, September 01, 2005
Tropical Depression 10 formed on August 13, Erev Tisha Ba'av. As the Jews who were loyal to their G-d, their people and their land prayed and fasted, meterologists watched it unconcerned. They reassured the public that the storm would go north of them. Hurricanes very rarely go south.As the preperations were underway by the Sharon regime to evict the Jews from their land and an army of expellers were assembled, the storm built. As the Bush administration and its Arab allies relished the first of many surrenders of Israel to the enemy, the storm grew.Motzei Tisha Ba'av, the date set for the expulsion of Jews from their homes across Gush Katif, came and the storm seemed to fade away. Meterologists were certain it was no further threat much like the people of Gush Katif. Day after day families were evicted from their homes, crying children sent out into tent cities, mothers and fathers forced into buses and denied sanitary facilities.

On August 23 Israel completed the planned expulsions at Homesh and Sa-Nur. The gates were battered down by soldiers waving clubs and the doors of homes shattered. Limor Har-Melech, whose husband Shuli was killed by terrorists three years ago moved from one group of soldiers to another, preaching, crying and begging, to no avail.George W. Bush congratulated Sharon for this act of ethnic cleansing on that same day and committing to in his own words, "rebuild the settlements for Gaza -- for the people of Gaza." Meaning that the destroyed towns would be rebuilt for the terrorists who with the aid of his efforts to secure them a state would now settle there.On August 23, Tropical Depression 10 merged with another disturbance and became Tropical Depression 12. Air Force Reserve squadron planes began flying through the eye every three hours, moving 105 miles from one end of the storm to the other, dropping cylinders that took snapshots of the storm as they fell 2,000 feet per minute.On August 24th, the State Department warned Israel against extending the security fence to Maaleh Adumim and warned against any further 'settlement activity.' On the 24th Katrina was upgraded to a tropical storm and turned west, instead of going north as hurricanes usually do, defying the natural weather systems. On the next day Katrina made landfall for the first time in Florida killing eleven and cutting power off to millions.On August 27th, Bush delivered a radio address to the nation celebrating the deportation of thousands of Jews. On August 27th Katrina became a Category 3 storm with winds of over 145 miles an hour. That same day Bush had to declare a State of Emergency in Louisana.On August 28th embodened by Israel's retreat for the first time in a long time terrorists carried out a succesfull suicide bombing. On August 28th,

Sharon defied the decision of the Rabbis and stated that the synagogues left behind would be demolished and a decision was finalized on uprooting the graves of the dead. On August 28th Katrina was declared a Category 4 storm and mayor of New Orleans called for the evacuation of the city.Soon familiar scenes were being reenacted. An evacuation that was poorly managed was scheduled resulting in chaos and misery. Evacuees were sent to hotels only to be forced to leave shortly. Belongings were left behind and lawlessness and looting broke out combined with police incompetence. As in Gush Katif and Homesh, residents were being pulled from rooftops. Fires burned in the streets of New Orleans as they had in the streets of the expelled towns.Graves had to be dug up as they had in Gush Katif and homes were destroyed. The oil refineries of the oil industry that has caused America to sell out Israel to the Arabs were severely incapacitated. As a casino had been planned to be constructed on the ruins of Gush Katif, the Mississipi gambling industry was shattered.On August 30th Sharon declared that yet more towns would be evacuated in the West Bank at an unspecified date. On August 30th the levees broke flooding most of New Orleans and rendering the city uninhabitable. It was not the weakest levees that broke but the section that had been repaired and worked on the most as if to say that it did not break because it was weak but because a higher force willed it. As the last of those expelled departed from their tent city in Tel Aviv they had been expelled from, the complete evacuation of New Orleans was declared.As it had been declared that no Jew would remain in Gush Katif and it would be given over to murderers and thieves, so too no one will be permitted to remain in New Orleans and it has been given over into the hands of looters and armed gunmen. It is said that it will be months before New Orleans is rebuilt, while others debate if it is worth rebuilding at all.

Who would have said a month ago that a major American city would lie empty and in ruins? Who would have believed it possible? What greater warning could there be than for a city on the southern coast of the United States to be rendered an uninhabited wasteland full of demolished buildings and human jackals picking among its ruins after towns in Israel were rendered into uninhabitated wastelands with terrorists and thieves picking among their ruins.Many wish to call what has happened and what is happening, a 'Mikra', a chance happening. Yet Tanach tells us that there cannot be a catastrophe in a city unless Hashem wills it. Still others have protested that G-d does not behave in this way. In Yirmiyahu 18:8-9 we see otherwise."At one instant I may speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to pluck up and to break down and to destroy it. but if that nation turn from their evil, because of which I have spoken against it, I repent of the evil that I thought to do unto it."It is incumbent on us to recognize and investigate the ways and doings of G-d. Those who argue that we should class all events as unknowable are ignoring the fact that G-d sends warnings. The goal of those warnings is to bring people to repentance and change. Not merely Jews but non-Jews as well. Does he mean these warnings not to be understood? Does he mean us to simply dismiss them as unknowable?In the absence of living prophets we may not be certain of things but is it incumbent on us to explore and to try to understand the ways of G-d and when messages are being sent, we may not ignore them either. By ignoring the warnings, we are ignoring G-d. Ignoring the warnings that are recieved will only cause the next warning to be more severe. If we do not recognize that Yad Hashem, the Hand of G-d did this we are denying the role of G-d in this world and it will be affirmed till we can deny it no longer.

The NOAA/ National Weather Service has raised the 2005 atlantic hurricane season outlook warning that the bulk of this season's storms are still to come.

bad news

Cancer News from John Hopkins> this was received from a nursing supervisor at Greenville> Memorial Hospital. It was sent to their staff.> > Cancer News from Johns Hopkins:> > 1. No plastic containers in micro.> 2. No water bottles in freezer.> 3. No plastic wrap in microwave.> > Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its> newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter> Reed> Army Medical Center. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer,> especially breast> cancer.> > Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't> freeze> your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases> dioxins from the> plastic.> > Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at> Castle> Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this> health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are> for us. He> said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave> using plastic> containers. This applies to foods that contain fat. He said> that> the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases> dioxin into the> food and ultimately into the cells of the body.> > Instead, he recommends using glass, Corning Ware or ceramic> containers for> heating food. You get the same results, only without the> dioxin.> > So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc.,> should be> removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper

> isn't> bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer> to use> tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc.> > He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food> restaurants moved> away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is> one of the> reasons.> > Also, he pointed out that Saran wrap is just as dangerous when> placed> over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is> nuked, the> high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the> plastic> wrap and drip into the food.> > Cover food with a paper towel instead.> > This is an article I believe you should forward to> your family and friends -- anyone who is important in your> life!

English signs in Foreign countries

In a Bangkok temple:"IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS AMAN.

"Cocktail lounge, Norway:"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."

Doctors office, Rome:"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:"DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

"On an Athi River highway:this is the main road to Mombasa, leavingNairobi."TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

"On a poster at Kencom:"ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

"In a City restaurant:"OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

"A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:"DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

"In a cemetery:"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWNGRAVES.

"Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

"On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:"OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

"In a Tokyo bar:"SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

"Hotel, Yugoslavia:"THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

"Hotel, Japan:"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

"In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodoxmonastery:"YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

"A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:"IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLEOF DIFFERENT GENDER, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

"Hotel, Zurich:"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEXIN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

"Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

"The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:"GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

"In a Swiss mountain inn:"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

"Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

"A laundry in Rome:"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOODTIME."

riddle

Can you answer this riddle?
Here is a pretty neat little thing from Paul Harvey. See if you can guess the riddle at the end.
Paul Harvey Writes:
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
Send this to all of your friends. We secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them.
Paul Harvey RIDDLE:

When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten kids got the answer, compared to 17% of Stanford University seniors.
What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?
Send this to 10 people and then press shift and you will get the answer.
P.S. You won't believe this, but this really does give you the answer!!!!
\

wierd labour math

The year is made of 365 days having 24 hours, 12 of which are night time hours which add up to 182 days. This leaves you with 183 days of work minus 52 Sundays which leaves you 131 days to work minus 52 Saturdays which leaves you 79 days to work and there are four hours each day set aside for eating which adds to 60 days which leaves you 19 days for working, and are entitled to 15 days for your vacation which leaves you 4 days left for work minus 3 days usually taken off due to illness or other emergencies, which leaves you one day to work which happens to be a Labor day, which is a holiday.

coffe break with doctors

5 surgeons are taking a coffee break:

1st surgeon says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says, "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded."

4th surgeon says, "I prefer lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and butts are interchangeable."

5th surgeon says, "I like engineers ... they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."

aeroplane jokes

#1
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?" The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."

#2
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes." "Why?" asked the nervous pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures." After a long pause, the "pilot" replied: "You mean, you're not my instructor?"

wayd to stay stressed

Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:

NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.
EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can't cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn't likely to.
GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.
TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine.
GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.
PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don't take time to listen, be offended, then return the attack!
MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE - BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!
BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies.
DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.
PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.
WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL. Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.
BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST BUT SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS......and either beat yourself up, or feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or inadequate when you don't meet them.
THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one.

grand mother

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother.
The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning.

Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?" The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds,
"Grandmother? Is that you?"
"Yes granddaughter, it's me."
"It's really, really you, grandmother?" the woman repeats.
"Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman looks puzzled,
"You're sure it's you, grandmother?" "Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me.
" The woman pauses a moment,
"Grandmother, I have just one question for you."
"Anything, my child."
"Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?"

funny puns

*I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

* Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

* A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

* He wears glasses during math because it improves division.

* Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

* It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

* Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.

* When the waiter spilled a drink on his shirt, he said, "this one is on me."