stupidity

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."(...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Australian Ghost Story

This story happened a while ago in Brisbane, and even thoughit sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.John Bradford, a Sydney University student, was on the sideof the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the midstof a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. Thestorm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.Suddenly he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, gotin the car and closed the door, just to realize there was nobodybehind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road andsaw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging forhis life. Then, just before he hit the curve, a hand appearedthrough the window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed withterror, watched howthe hand appeared every time they came to a curve. John sawthe lights of a pub down the road so, gathering strength, jumpedout of the car and ran to it.Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and asked for two shotsof tequila. He then started telling everybody about the horribleexperience he went through.A silence enveloped everybody when they realized he wascrying and....wasn't drunk.About 15 minutes later, two guys walked into the same pub.They were also wet and out of breath. Looking around and seeingJohn Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other, "Look,Bruce.. here's the F*cking idiot that got in the car while wewere pushing it."