aging

-- An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me." "Why not?" he asks. She answers back, "Because I'm dead." The husband says, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another." She says, "No, I'm definitely dead." He insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?" "Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."

-- Remember, once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.

-- If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.

-- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.

-- I always know God won't give me more than I can handle but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

-- Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.

-- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

-- Some days are a total waste of makeup.

-- Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

-- Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

-- Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

-- Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

-- By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

-- Learn from the mistakes of others. Trust me .... you can't live long enough to make them all yourself. I've tried!!