flying one liners

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." --

At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." --

From an old carrier sailor "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies."

"Never trade luck for skill."

"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."

"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."

"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."

"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten."

"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." --

Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970 "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."


other one liners

The school should pay me to skip class. Call it a "tuition refund", if you will.

A Pessimist is what an Optimist calls a Realist.

I was wondering where my boomerang had landed - and then it came to me.

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

Scars: Tattoos with better stories.

Loved are the ones who are told of their faults in private.

there are two things you cant escape, death and tax

A:\ B:\ C:\ - Alphabet of a new generation.

Look after your wife; never mind yourself--she'll look after you.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Say nothing . . . often.

Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.

All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.

Everything is always okay in the end. If it's not, it's not the end.

You non-conformists are all alike.

Sign on a synagogue: Under same management for 5,766 years.

The extra mile isn't half as long as all those other miles.

A genius is someone who is screwed up in a useful way.

Life is really like a shower. One wrong turn and you're in hot water.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

When I was a child, I remember my Mom telling me, "Son, when you grow up, you can marry any girl you please." When I became a young man, I learned the sad fact was that I could not please any of them.