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יום שבת, נובמבר 19, 2005

Top Ten ways you know you're Watching a Color War Skit

10) The producer has gone in for the “ultra-minimalist” look (i.e. two benches from the dining room and a table is the entire set, representing an airplane, a courtroom, an operating table, etc.).
9) Cliché number one: Russian bus driver with heavy accent wearing old wrinkled jacket- must say “Chhhello, my frrrriend!” at least twice.
8) Cliché number two: African American janitor is the most “bummy” counselor in blackface, wearing jeans and a t-shirt and speaking in Ebonics. (Note: in the past five years, this practice has been outlawed in many camps, due to complaints from the cleaning staff).
7) Cliché number three: Protagonist must attend your camp.
6) There is much gratuitous camper participation, because you get extra points (Note: when I wrote a color war skit, had all the campers in my bunk walk on to the stage, hold up a big sign reading “Gratuitous Camper Participation”, and walk off. If only there was anyone in the camp who knew what the word “gratuitous” meant).
5) Much of the plot must be stolen from Airplane!
4) Many of the lines must be stolen from The Simpsons, SpongeBob SquarePants, and the most popular movie of the summer. None of the head staff will catch the references.
3) There must be many drug references. None of the campers will catch them. You hope like hell that none of the head staff catches them, either.
2) Someone must die from eating camp food.
1) The last line of the skit must be “WHOSE GONNA WIN THIS COLOR WAR?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? (Insert name of team here)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”